


In Absentia

by imaginary_golux



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 04:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9476426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginary_golux/pseuds/imaginary_golux
Summary: From the title meme on tumblr, submitted by starbirdrampant - prior to The Force Awakens, General Leia Organa thinks about the men who ought to be beside her, and are not.





	

The worst part of Han and Luke leaving isn’t the dreadful silence where they ought to be. Leia has grown used to silence, to the singing tension of not being able to fix whatever problem lies before her. The worst part is that she can _still hear them._

She’ll come home exhausted from a long day banging her head against metaphorical walls in the Senate and hear Luke say, _Don’t worry, sister, the Force will provide,_ and she’ll want to scream at him, _The Force will provide? The Force doesn’t provide, it takes and it takes and it takes - everything I have ever loved it takes -_

But he is not there.

Or she’ll be sitting on her bed brushing her hair, the long even strokes her mother taught her so many years ago, and hear Han say, _Hey, Princess, you missed a spot,_ in that teasing tone that never fails to make her laugh and swear, and she’ll want to swat him with the brush the way she always used to, will turn around to see where he’s cocooned in blankets like some strange alien larva - 

And he is not there.

It is like losing them all over again, every time.

She wants to find the Force where it lurks and strangle it with her bare hands. She wants to hunt her brother down and drag him back to his abandoned duties. She wants to send a message to Chewbacca saying, _Bring him home to me,_ and wake the next morning to Han complaining bitterly about the lack of caf in the kitchen.

She wants to break down and weep, hole herself up in her room and never come out, grieve for her lost boys until even grief cannot be sustained.

She does not. Love may be lost to her, family may be lost to her, peace may be lost to her, but duty still remains, and so Leia gets up every morning and does her hair in mourning braids and goes to do her duty.

And they are not there.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm imaginarygolux on tumblr; come by and give me titles! Fic might happen!


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